Those curtains were up long before you went to Iraq. I showed them to you, and you approved them yourself. Plus, they were NOT lace, they had eyelets. In addition, I welcomed you to replace them any time you desired but you never took action.

SO, enough about the “lace” curtains!

It’s done!

P.S. I don’t recall sleeping in your bed, just weeping on it once or twice for joy because I didn’t have to deal with creepy gnomes everywhere. I do recall, however, wearing your clothes… You know, I may need to read whatever you wrote about me in that memoir and approve it before I let you show it to anyone.

Of course, that didn’t work.